The second oldest to score an ODI century

None other than Sanath Jayasuriya. It's hard not to be in awe of a player who has 18 years of international cricket under his belt, has a career strike rate in excess of 90, has hit three of the 10 fastest ODI centuries, has hit the fastest ODI fifty, has hit the highest number of sixes in ODIs, has hit the second highest number of boundaries in ODIs, and has hit the greatest number of sixes in an ODI innings. And did I mention he has more than 300 ODI wickets.

I'm sure that "second oldest" is going to change to "oldest" pretty soon, and is not going to be surpassed any time soon.

Telemarketing

Telemarketer: Is this Aniket sir?
Me: Yes.
Telemarketer: Aniket sir, I'm calling from CFHD bank. You have an account with us, don't you?
Me: Yes, I do.
Telemarketer: Aniket sir, based on your account, CFHD bank is offering you a lifetime free Gold Credit Card. It has many benefits like 1 point per Rs 100...

[Me thinking, they're offering me a credit card based on my account??]

Me : I already have a CFHD lifetime free Gold Credit Card. [Making myself absolutely clear in anticipation of "which bank" and "which card"]
Telemarketer: Why sir?
Me: Why what?
[pause...]
Telemarketer: Why don't you want the lifetime free Gold Credit Card? It has many benefits...
Me: I said I already have one.
[Hangs up...]

Cricket quotes

Not only is he stocky in stature, he's got a big heart.

Aamer Sohail describing the portly Ramesh Pawar.

The Matara Mauler

He's back, and with a bang that left the Chennai Super Kings shellshocked. Defending 157, the game was shut out from them after just six overs when the score read 78/0. When Sanath hits sixes over point, you know what's coming! When 140 kph deliveries are flicked over midwicket, you just stand and admire. That's what Dhoni should have done yesterday - he looked like a man who'd just seen a ghost. He was never a part of the Indian team in the late 90s, that was regularly walloped by Sanath. This was probably the first time he'd encountered a feeling of hopelessness and helplessness. Sachin, on the other hand, must have been a mighty relieved man. Better to be on Sanath's side when he's in that mood.

I haven't been watching the IPL matches too closely. Cricket matches, I feel, are getting bogged down due to too many interruptions. Time is wasted in conferences after each ball, each shot to the boundary, each third umpire referral. Only the explosive batting of three people are worth wasting all that time - Gilchrist, Yuvraj and of course, Sanath. And I got full value yesterday.

As per script in the EPL - mostly

Man U clinched the title, winning 2-0 as expected against Wigan. There were a few nervous moments for Man U at the JJB - they were lucky a penalty wasn't awarded against them, and luckier when Scholes wasn't sent off for a second bookable offence. Cristiano Ronaldo signed off a phenomenal season with yet another goal, taking his tally to more than 40! And he's a winger, for crissakes.

About the only thing that didn't go according to script was Chelsea drawing 1-1 with Bolton. Would have thought they would win comfortably, but they were surprisingly tentative. John Terry had to be stretchered off after 10 minutes with a suspected broken shoulder, and Chelsea didn't look themselves after that.

In fact, I felt that all teams were playing somewhat tentatively in yesterday's matches. The restraint was palpabale, you could almost feel that they wanted to get over with the match, and heave a sigh of relief that the season was over.

Here's looking forward to a great match in the Champions League finale.

Cricinfo humor

... is mostly quite good, but not this.

Talking about UP bowler Sudeep Tyagi...

He has learnt a lot under the guidance of the UP bowling coach Ashish Winston Zaidi, the Amar Akbar Anthony of Indian cricket.

Hmm.

It's going down to the wire

Come the last 5 overs of a run chase in any ODI, and this is the most often heard phrase from the commentators, notably Messieurs Tony Greig and Bill Lawry. This year is the first time since I've been following football that the Premier League title race is literally "going down to the wire". Man U and Chelsea are level on points with one game to go, but Man U have the better goal difference. Man U have an away game against Wigan, which they are unlikely to lose. Chelsea play Bolton at the Bridge, and are favorites to win. So in all probability Man U will take the Premier League.

The two teams meet in the Champions League final 2 weeks from now, and who can bet for either team here? Man U have the history behind them, but this season Chelsea seem to have all the luck.

It really is going down to the damn wire.

The awesome-est game soundtrack

Bad bad ball boy

Naughty ball boy returns ball too fast, President cries foul.

Were the Palermo defenders asleep when the corner was taken? One can understand that rules might be broken by the ball boy, but the entire blame can't be laid upon him for conceding a goal. Coming from a representative of a top-flight Serie A team, the President no less, this accusation is quite absurd.

Speaking of ball boys, I've seen quite a few Premier League matches where the boys from the home team are rather lazy in returning the ball to opposition team players.

Ball boys are present in cricket too, though strangely we see them only in matches played in India. Their sole purpose is to retrieve the ball when it crosses the boundary and throw it back in. You have to marvel at the foresight of the BCCI in having these ball boys, because the Indian players take full advantage of their services. Our lazy infielders will give just a token chase to a ball headed for the ropes, knowing they can save energy by waiting for the ball to be thrown back!

Tennis too has ball boys, but here they also serve as towel boys. Life must be hard for a tennis ball boy on duty: Run hard in between points not just to retrieve the balls but also to hand over a sweaty towel to the player! When a game is completed, run from the baseline to the player's seat, again with a sweaty towel in hand. I wonder if, after losing a match, a player will ask for a replay because the ball boy wasn't fast enough in giving him his towel!

Another ton

Sachin's 39^th century, and 9^th against Australia. 2 of those have resulted in a win for India, and I hope this one has the same result.

A win seems a remote possibility given the batsmen-friendly pitch. We need a repeat of the Agarkar spell of last time around to have any chance. In fact history suggests that 500-plus first-innings scores at Adelaide result in a loss for the team batting first! England in the previous Ashes, and Australia themselves when India last toured, have been the losers. On both occasions, the team batting first suffered a fatal second-innings collapse.

I'm hoping we win this match and level the series. That would be a fantastic achievement, I don't think any team in recent memory has bounced back after going 2-down against the Aussies. Usually the Aussies grind the opposition to dust once they go even 1-up. Of course, that wasn't the case back in 2001 in India!

Lost in translation

One of my all-time favorite movies is Andaaz Apna Apna. I always crack up with laughter every time I see the same scenes - whether it's Teja removing his suspenders or handling Vasco da Gama's gun! I am known among my friends to be constantly uttering the dialogues of the movie, and I was wondering if they would have the same kind of "punch" and impact if delivered in English. So sample some of these and relive the memorable scenes...

I am Teja because my name is Teja.

How can a rat's snores spoil a lion's sleep?

His death is also written in my hands.

The hair is cut and you don't even know it!

It came in the hand, but didn't reach the mouth.

You're a damn old sinner, you.

These two are third-number goons.

Two friends always drink in a single cup - this increases the friendship.

What are you two beasts doing in the jungle?

They don't have knowledge worth ten paise, but wear suits worth ten thousand!

What is this namaste namaste? Have you come to a damn party?

I am now going to do what I was born for.

I'll pierce the needle inside one ear and get it out of the other, and make a kalabattu out of you!

I'll remove your eyes and play marbles with them.



This, however, is simply untranslatable: Aaya hoon, kuch to chura le jaoonga!

The monkey business continues

• Bucknor has been "dropped" for the third test. Billy Bowden will officiate in his place. Here's hoping that's the last we'll see of Monsieur Bucknor.
• The ICC say Bajji will be allowed to play the third test, and make a lot of noise to show how they're alleviating the tensed situation. As far as I know, Bajji was allowed to play anyway until the appeal is heard, so what's new?
• Malcolm Speed says that Bucknor & Benson had a "bad day" given their "usual high standards". WTF???
• Sachin Tendulkar denies he ever sent an SMS to Sharad Pawar. I very much doubted he is capable of doing anything so original.
• Former Australia captains Border & Waugh support Ponting, saying that Australia played the second test the way it always plays. Again, what's new?
• Some asshole Aussie & English journos write that the ICC should not let India get away with abandoning the tour, if it comes to that. The reasoning is that we are the "dictators" of world cricket. I mean, WTF???
• The way I see it, Procter has proved to the world that the Aussies are the high lords of morality while Sachin is a liar.
• Symonds feels jealous Bajji got to pat Brett Lee's bums, while he didn't.
• Some Aussie newspaper had a picture showing Symonds morphing into Hanuman. That is an affront to the great monkey.
  

Movies I've seen from IMDB's Top 250 list

Ok, 250 is too many items for a list, but here goes...

1. #1 The Godfather
2. #2 The Shawshank Redemption
3. #5 Pulp Fiction
4. #7 Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back
5. #11 LOTR - ROTK
6. #17 Raiders of the Lost Ark
7. #18 LOTR - FOTR
8. #29 LOTR - TTT
9. #33 The Matrix
10. #36 Se7en
11. #37 American Beauty
12. #48 Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
13. #61 LA Confidential
14. #65 Reservoir Dogs
15. #67 Forrest Gump
16. #74 Terminator 2: Judgement Day
17. #99 Braveheart
18. #116 Back to the Future
19. #118 Kill Bill Vol 1
20. #124 Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade
21. #134 The Sixth Sense
22. #137 Die Hard
23. #168 Kill Bill Vol 2
24. #196 Twelve Monkeys

That's only 24 out of 250 - only 10%. But more importantly, 4 out of the top 10 (40%) and 7 out of the top 20 (35%). There are some movies on the original list that I've seen but not included above because I don't remember much of them.

There's one movie that I'll definitely be watching in a theater soon: #152 Taare Zameen Par.